Native Americans in Charge!

I am truly excited that the U.S. has Native Americans in charge at both the National Park Service and as Secretary of the Interior. The New York Times has an article on Charles F. Sams of the NPS. I hope each of the are able to successfully navigate the complexities of government administration.

Maybe there is hope in spite of what is seen with race relations in general. No it will not improve conditions of reservations, it will not undo the numerous treaties consistently ignored by the government, and it won’t undo the genocide perpetrated against natives. But quietly without staged protests, reparations, shouting and chanted they have come to the head table thru their hard work and leadership.

Mr. Sams was sworn in by Secretary Haaland on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. The two of them stood where Dr. King gave his ‘I Have a Dream’ speech and felt honored. I think it is good to partner with Florida cities to run buses for low-income families to get to the Everglades. All people need to exposure to the national parks so they may realize the treasures of this country that are there for all.

I knew already that staffing was down, clear when you visit and park and don’t see any rangers. Numbers are down 15% over the last decade; visits up 20% plus. What’s wrong with this picture?

But there is $9.5 billion from the Great American Outdoors Act of 2020. Maybe this is the reason so much work was happening on old cabin lodging at Shenandoah. And maybe their will finally be improvements to staff lodging! (Read Nevada Barr to get more insights on the substandard accommodations.)

Is it so encouraging that Native American voices may be heard going forward from the peoples who were forced out of those places. And maybe, in some way, conditions on the reservations can be improved.

Stories from the Elderly

I suppose I better first start off by defining elderly. Considering my own age, I find elderly now works on a moving scale. Currently it means at least 10 years older than I. And in another two decades that definition won’t be applicable, but then likely neither will I.

In speaking with the elderly I notice their tendency to repeat themselves. All of us do this as we sometimes can’t remember whom we told what to. I’ve even asked ‘did I already tell you this’. I do like to be succinct and relevant. My mother would get mad at me when I’d tell her she already told me something. I suppose it can be seen as being dismissive.

But here I’m talking about telling of stories or incidents from the past. These stories will be repeated exactly. Not a detail changes, no new insights or revelations. It is like a monologue repeated nightly, or a poem remembered from school. And if interrupted, there will be a patient pause, then they will pick up their tale and continue.

Maybe we all have a repertoire of stories we like to repeat. Perhaps they stick with us because they are important in what they demonstrate about how we see ourselves. Are people at all aware they do this? Wonder what I’d learn if I pointed out that they really liked retelling that particular story. Nothing, just get them ticked off at me.

I’m sorry but it does become tedious on round 5 of the same story!

On my last visit to Cousin Irmgard, aged 86, she clearly was having other memory issues. Or husband, a very controlling type who belittled her throughout their life (worse in his last years of illness) died several years earlier. Having spent so much time with someone who questioned or remarked on nearly everything she did I think it left her at odds when he was gone. On my visit she was ever so critical of her neighbors, jealous, had become paranoid, and did nothing but complain often lapsing into that retelling of old injustices that I’d heard many times already. While with her daughter’s family, having the obligatory afternoon coffee and cake along with a generally inane conversation round the table. All of a sudden Irmgard burst into the retelling, with laughter, of the wonderful time they went sledding with the little grandsons (now well into their 20’s). There was no reaction from the group other than a few glances. And the inane conversation went on. I wonder how much longer she’ll live alone in her house. Due to German pandemic restrictions imposed on the elderly she’s had to move in with the daughter’s family. But her mental state sounds like Alzheimer’s.

Repeating stories is not endangering. Is it a sign of deteriorating mental processes? I’m surprised how much of my past I’ve forgotten; some past situation will come to mind and I find I can’t recall details as to how I got to some destination, or where did I stay when I visited my grandmother before her death, or even the location of a place in a photograph.

As I age I become keenly aware of the phenomena of losing family, losing friends, people with whom you could talk about a shared past. I don’t have anyone with whom I have more than a couple of years in common. I spent a lot of time with my mother talking about relations I never knew, her life growing up, and now there is no one to talk to, no one I can ask questions of concerning my family’s past. And I’m amazed at all the things I didn’t inquire about or ask details on. We have memories and we have memories that we know are forgotten.

And now let me tell you a story about the time…

Township Politics

There is a township of Oshtemo with an angry, animated citizenry and an important primary election looms. It’s an old township, like most in Michigan formed soon after the land was surveyed. 2010 Census gave the population as 21,000, currently 23,000 (but not if you refer to one of the glossy, slick development publications in which a hired consultant, ESRI, places the population at 31,000.) Ten years for 2,000 population! Township gained 3,000 more in the previous decade.

Two-thirds of the township is designated rural and supposedly policies aim to protect that. That other one third contains upscale homes with large lots. Commercial structures not to exceed 2 stories, but the Planning Commission makes an exception when the building ‘looks nice’. It is located in an area close to the Big Lake and plenty of trails, lakes, preserves; a good area with a population legacy that benefitted from Upjohn headquarters (long gone), related spin off industries and universities.

So the spearhead issue this election year is mandatory sewer connection. Got to get rid of those terrible polluting septic systems! So when your subdivision has its turn, you get a mandatory letter demanding you pay upwards of $11,000 “connection fee” and then on top of that $4,000-20,000 to take care of the line to your home. So there is one contingent that wants no sewer, one that wants it optional, and one that wants the sewer. The no group is the loudest, most active.

As with many places it is a single issue that will galvanize the community. Then they look closer at other activities. You’ll find that they will fault everything you do, scream corruption, liar, etc. And the internet is ablaze with accusations, truths and half truths, heated arguments. Sometimes they are right; this is a very ingrained board with a Supervisor who over the course of 11 years and populated the township offices and board with allies, friends, etc. One board Trustee is also Assistant to the Supervisor and her husband is Maintenance Director. And right before an election this is deadly.

I’ve experienced all officials ousted, new put in. But we are so polarized that the old guard howls, disrupts, rummages through the half truths and soon this new board is ousted. And everything runs their course, nothing effectively changed. New animosities and grudges in the community seem the only real outcome. Oh and that initial galvanizing issue, probably got done in spite of everything.

How do you govern with a volatile population? And all the communities I’ve lived in are one party, so primary is the only election for local level. Buzzwords are transparency, honesty and change. Boards complain no one shows up for the meetings, but they are truly extremely dry unless there is an issue. Also public comment is limited and questions are not answered as a matter of policy. Currently in Oshtemo board  minutes record merely the bare minimum required by law – essentially nothing – a recent development. So how do you hold elected officials accountable? So why bother to attend.

At least they should be happy it is not a true revolution and no one is yelling ‘off with their heads’, the only way to effect lasting change.

 

Alas Dear Reader, I’ve been Negligent!

Pandemic, lock down, can’t go places, no trips. You would think I’d have time to blog! Have run out of things to watch on internet subscription services. Can’t go to the library  to get DVD’s, audio books, real books even though the internet have impeded my ability to follow the written word. I’m tired of reading news which has narrowed to 2 topics: corona or black lives related.

Kayaking is my big new activity. During the start of the pandemic I decided to take the plunge and buy a kayak; tired of trying to borrow kayaks which would be hard anyway in lock down. LLBean has a nice package deal and delivered to my doorstep! Delivery cost is not unreasonable especially considering I couldn’t go to a store for one. If I use this kayak for one year (or season) I’ll be satisfied. The sport is ideal for social distancing – what is safer than being in the middle of a lake! And I am fortunate to live in an area with many small lakes and boat launches. Lots of nice people fishing, swimming, kayaking at these little lakes. A little chitchat, keep a distance, let the breeze blow. And I’m improving upper body strength, good for aging bodies. And it does fit in my car! I have the stuff to carry it on the roof rack but need to work on my knots to tie a front guide rope.

I’m discovering a whole different world at these lakes. Had no idea these are popular beaches – nearby, accessible, no fees. One nearby lake does get busy and very lively; there is a colorful group hanging out there and it’s a nice small, clear lake, no jet skis or speedboats. Also I never fail to be surprised at all the young men who offer to help me load the kayak!

In particular I enjoy looking a the plants and watching dragonflies and damselflies as they land on my kayak. Stay clear of the swans, especially now when they are cygnets to protect. Usually there is a breeze on the lake, even in 90 degree weather.

Early in the pandemic I spent time exploring lesser known preserves and trails with the dog. The dog and I used to have preserves to ourselves, especially during the week. But then came lockdown – everyone crowded the  trails, it was incredible. So doggy and I went elsewhere; I also have friends with acreage which we used.

What will confront us next. We survived Y2K, AIDS, 9/11 now this. I would be terrified if I had a job and mortgage to worry about. How nice to be a retiree with pension and social security deposited monthly. On the other hand I’m high risk. It’s always somethin’.

I had an overseas trip booked for Nov. I could reschedule that for Jan 2021. My passport expires in August; the State Dept says to hold off submitting applications as they only process emergency cases. However once they start with new applications, renewals it will be first come first served. Huh? So I sent mine in. That President wants schools and businesses to reopen but why doesn’t he reopen his own State Dept?

It’s not worth worrying. There is nothing I can do anyway. Simply wait and see what is going on in 3 months. I could be dead then don’t have to deal with anything. Or I kayak my time away, walk the dog in cooler weather, ride the bike. Fall colors will be lovely.

Is Responsible Tourism Possible

Just read a NYT article “A Climbing Ban at Uluru Ends a Chapter”. Australian government has imposed a ban on climbing Ayers Rock, a site sacred to Aboriginals. Shocking to read and see photos of what tourism has done to the site. Reminds me of so many places overwhelmed with mass tourism. Overwhelmed in that appreciation becomes minimal as sites are commercialized, crowded, noisy, desecrated. Natives often won’t preform their sacred dances for tourist dollars and snapshots. Lines of people snake up icy walks next to scenic Icelandic waterfalls. Crowds of Chinese loudly push their way through taking numerous selfies along the way. Travel is a facebook moment – how many ‘likes’ will it generate.

Watched a German podcast on Westdeutscher Rundfunk critically assessing spots with mass tourism and the horrible impact on these places. Focus was Majorca, Ibiza and newer party spots in Bulgaria. That’s a reason I won’t go to Croatia, Amalfi Coast, and the like. After my disappointing Venice visit recently I don’t want to experience overtourism. Thought my November Iceland trip would be better, but still sites were crowded.

Every trip I take gives me a moment of pause. I want to seek out the lesser known sites, but my own tourism will increase the volume. Every flight has me aware of needing carbon offsets. I can complain about others, but really how is my travel different? I eat, use a hotel, trample the sites, am escorted around on busses and take a plane to get there.Somy groups are smaller; I don’t party and drink all night. I try to be a gracious tourist. Does that really matter?

I want to experience places, but avoid those already overcrowded. Dilemma is I criticize others for something I am a part of. At my age I won’t be around to suffer the ill effects of our damage to the earth. Should I really be concerned? Suspect a bit part of my issue is purely being annoyed by all those other people ruining my view.

Meetup – Who Goes?

I’ve attended meet up groups of and on since 2011. What makes them engaging is also what can make them dysfunctional. It can be a constantly changing group so much time has to be spend with introductions. Really, I find I don’t care to know that much about people, especially when intros involve mainly kids, grandkids, life issues. to date no one has disclosed a sex change thus totally changing the group focus. They probably have Meetup groups for that anyway.

So now I’ve attended events with a Single Senior group. As with most any group, it is mostly women. When a male shows up he must feel a tad awkward. Are females truly so different that they are more open to attending events than males? Could be that males are more willing to go to restaurants and bars alone so don’t need to latch on to a group. Always wondered what it is single men do – watch sports? One male group member said they “need more ideas that will include both sexes as the group seems to be turning into a hen house. hopefully less venues that include alcohol, as this is a nonstarter for some of us.” Seems a contradiction to want more events to attract men, yet no alcohol? also wonder why he does offer some of these ideas.

One things I’ve noticed about activities involving single females is that it is easy to see why they don’t have their own friends. Yes, I include myself in that. The organizer here  is a therapist. I hope this doesn’t turn into more than usual needy people looking to be comforter by a therapist. Already spotted a couple who have some issues. There is the odd possibility that it can become a type of therapy group, driving the more balanced away.  Take yesterdays meeting where Nancy, in her introduction, explained that she has felt depressed and generally down after an intense short lived relationship ended. Okay, is this really something strangers want or need to know? Then two pointed out their 100 pound weight loss as part of their intro; or they trying to say they are truly fat people? Is this your life accomplishment? Malcontent that I am, when I got to my intro, I actually skipped anything personal and stated what I had done that day and now felt entitled to a break. So many people have a problem with trying to give a short, relevant explanation of who they are. Just the facts, ma’am.

Most the events of the senior groups revolve around meals. That’s why I think it attracts a lot of single women who won’t go out to eat, alone. the places they choose are some distance for me and I places I would not choose on my own. You know, the type of place that still offers toothpicks at the cashier counter.

The Vegan Group doesn’t seem to understand how a meetup works. Their events are non-events, informational presentations at places. It is confusing as to actual times they met as opposed to when a restaurant is open, and they don’t post a sign so you can’t find them. Now I’m not a vegan but a vegetarian. However these guys know great places to eat. It is easier for me to eat vegan than to find something on the menu at the places the senior groups goes. I’ve never with an entire group of vegans before. They are a very pale looking group. Even vegetarians look healthier. Maybe it is just this group – I’ve attended events in daylight so they’re not vampires. But they all look sort of sickly, sort of like vegetarians I knew in the 1970’s. Does the vegan lifestyle keep them out of harmful ultra violet rays? Do they not spend times outdoors? They’re very mild mannered and seemingly indecisive.

The senior group wants suggestions but I quickly came to the realization that my interests don’t really jive with theirs. Nature, outdoor activities, classical concerts don’t interest these people.  Eating out, brunch, nostalgia concerts, and pot lucks do.

Seek solace in open spaces enjoying my dog dog and my own company.

 

A Lack of Decency

It’s been a year and a half since my mother died. I never got along well with my sister but truly underestimated the depth of her vindictiveness. My mother’s handwritten final will started off with her acknowledging that her daughters don’t get along. And it should have been simple to just comply with her last wishes to split everything. But it was a last chance for my sister to vent her deep-seated rage against me.

I always had a key to the apartment and to the building. But a few years ago they went to a key fob entrance and only issued one fob per resident. It became a bit more inconvenient  to visit. worst was when she didn’t answer the phone or her bell and I’d be alarmed something happened. Up until last month she was just fast asleep.

Since it was my sister and her daughter who discovered my mother, they took the key fob. She thought she effectively barred me from all access to the apartment. But I’m well-known there as I regularly visited, played cards, talk with staff. And I did have a key to the apartment, just needed to be let in the main door. Often I walked in with someone opened the door.

Today I found out that my sister yelled at the manager and assistant for letting me in. they told me of their difficulties dealing with her. She apologized later at the funeral. I knew that before we had our meeting to discuss who takes what she had been in the apartment to take things: all the photo albums, financial statements and pottery she gave as a gift. Had to quickly stake her claim. However I anticipated her move and took the most valuable old photo album and removed pages from other albums. I did this after I paged through the photos for my mother’s 80th birthday, which I attended, and noticed there was absolutely no photo of me. Yes I was offended at what my sister had done 22 years ago. I also took a look at my mother’s financial statements.

I could have argued with my sister over the grandfather clock, but didn’t. I could have made an issue that she came early to our meeting and brought along her granddaughter who laid claim to two large nutcrackers. My mother put the grandchildren down the list after her daughter and grandchildren made their selections. I let the child have her booty. I thought it more important that grandchildren take their pick of mementos to keep in remembrance of their German grandmother. So even though I was willed all the Hummel figurines, I let them choose first.

And of course at the funeral planning I volunteered to pick up the ashes. But my sister refused as she accused me of planning to take the ashes and disappear.

It seems very clear she has some problems. Going to church every Sunday has not imbued her with a Christian ethic. She cannot overcome her insecurities, her dislike of being German, and her need to be spiteful and controlling.

I can’t help but feel pity. She now is saddled with a 500 lb. plus husband with early Alzheimer’s. He has an irritable bowel, urinates in his pants, and will get worse, much worse. She is greedy, never has enough money, whines and complains constantly. I try to think what gives her joy; not sure she actually enjoys her own grandchildren. And mother didn’t like that pottery she gave her, but displayed it because my sister thought it really nice stuff.

At the meeting to decide who gets what she cheerily inquired about the old family album and how she would like some of those old photos. Mind you she had already yelled at staff for letting me in. But when I mentioned that I noticed she already took all the other albums, her reply was not to offer to share, but that they’re really just of her family. Yes, they are now since I removed many pages and found two particularly interesting old photos I had forgotten about. And she won’t ever see any of those old photos now.

I know she won’t share the proceeds from furniture on consignment. She also won’t split what money is left from the checking and savings. So I won’t share the money from the items I photoed, posted online, and worked to sell. I would have. But after her tirade on how I had to bring back the vacuum because I took it (like I stole it?) and now the carpet has to be cleaned before the final walk through, I won’t share anything. And I won’t bring back the vacuum cleaner; you want to control everything, well you vaccuum.

And I think if she gets on me one more time, I think I will really let her have it. I need to tell her what a pitiful bitch she is, how she has embarrassed herself at the senior residence with the staff and residents. And how she has forgotten the commandment to honor her mother so next Sunday needs to pray long and hard – for herself. And to fucking get out of my face.

But I probably won’t. My mother is dead. She died alone. We all die alone and all the stuff doesn’t matter anymore. Oh and I have my sister’s wedding dress; what to do with it…

 

The Return of Tight Pants

Have you noticed the new look in pants for men, or am I just late again. At first you see them, but don’t think in terms of trend, just consider someone gained weight.

Then you see more, and then come the extreme examples  and WHOA it is a new style! Just watched weather.com and there is a young man giving an update on Alberto hitting the Florida panhandle. Boy are his pants tight, and the tightness made more noticeable as he seems to be wearing a codpiece. Yeah, check out that famous portrait of Henry VIII where he has the extra large, prominent codpiece. Proof of virility? In actuality, not him. With the weather guy the pants are skin tight yet the zippered groin protrudes. Is there any possibility he emulates Henry? Doubt it, especially considering his vest and long sleeved shirt.

Some time back I watched John Oliver guest on someone’s talk show and he came out from the curtains wearing a suit that appeared two sizes too small. Notably the pants hung just a bit below his crotch. Hardly a rapper, but the fit seemed off in two respects. I need a tailor to get the proper clothing terminology.

So we have men apparently feeling emasculated and give us incels or Jordan Peterson. Now suit and pant styles go super tight with a pseudo codpiece look. This gonna get you girls? Or are these guys feeling particularly liberated and comfortable with their sexuality?

I long for a return to the exciting 60’s where men seemingly made inroads with doing away with ties and white shirts. Turtlenecks, Ghandhi suits, open collars, leisure suits (okay, the fabric was terrible). Guys in bright printed shirts preferrably NOT unbuttoned to mid chest. What happened!?! Why has women’s clothing proved so fluid yet men’s bounced right back to a staid old fashioned look?

Couple years back I was in Italy and shocked by the very tight jeans women wore. Shocked because I couldn’t figure how 1. how they stayed so thin 2. how they even pulled those jeans on. But no men wore tight pants.

Remember last time around with peg legged pants? Maybe the 60’s. Ah dear reader, you are too young.  Back then those guys were like manneqins – no genitals. Straight tight legged pants, flat stomach, nothing protruded unless you were Baryshnikov.

On the other hand I just today read about Andre Leon Talley (google it) forgoing suits and trousers; he has caftans custom made. In his case it is weight gain making even bespoke suits a problem fit.

We Apologize for any Inconvenience

Seems to be a new PR tactic – when things go wrong, just apologize. Get a lot of this from government officials and corporations and sales clerks. It has become an automatic response to everything. It’s other more commonly used form is the ubiquitous ‘I’m sorry’ (for the monosyllabic ones among us).
My electricity service has been out 3 times since Sunday. It is Thursday. Today I received a recorded message from my utility company, DTE in Michigan. They apologize for the service interruptions and if I have questions provide me a customer service number to call.
I guess that it nice, that they apologize.
The sales clerk asks if you found everything okay. I really have learned to just reply yes but every once in awhile I can’t control myself and have to say “No, I didn’t.” I full well know that they cannot help me get what I am looking for. They just end up replying “I’m sorry”. Or as happened recently at Gordon Food Service the clerk offered to get someone to look for the product I wanted. I pointed out there was no empty space on the shelf for the missing raw almonds so it is unlikely that anyone will find something they don’t carry.
Wish I were part of a generation that feels an apology makes it all better. And making an effort to look is just as effective as actually finding the stuff. The problem is more one of high employee turnover and no one knows what they carry. On my side, I don’t want to stand around for what I know will be a fruitless endeavor.
So what is it I want since I’m grumping about an apology? I’d really like to do what they are doing to correct the situation. What measures are being taken to ensure this doesn’t happen again. Most I’d like to know why this happened, but they’re not going to tell me that.
It makes it easier for everyone to screw up when all they have to do if apologize and that takes care of their responsibility.
I know I have really tried adopt the credo of ‘It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.’ That is largely because I’ve learned people don’t really pay attention and asking for permission makes them aware of something they otherwise would have ignored. Perhaps in some way that fits in with the practice of giving rote apology.
So I’m sorry if this post heading caused you to click on a topic that proved disappointing and apologize for an inconvenience. There, got two with one situation!

What’s the Story with American Men Marrying Asian Women

I renewed contact with a friend from University. Found out he is on his third marriage, to a Mongolian-Chinese woman who can’t speak English! Do any warning flags go up? The first marriage was a surprise since I thought she was a lesbian; maybe so, it was a very short lived marriage. He refers to it as a horrible mistake. Produced two children from the second marriage, think to an American, he doesn’t refer to her. After 5 years of being single he explored online dating. Apparently didn’t like what he found with American women.
This guy should be considered successful, in that he has a nice position, seems well thought of in his specialty. Has a masters, no idea of finances. He is 64.
So he explains he met this woman online, knew she was in China, communicated for two years. Then he had occasion to go to China, they meet and I guess sparks fly.
What the hell did they talk about as he doesn’t speak Chinese and she doesn’t speak English? Okay smart ass, they don’t have to talk to know what they wanna do, but at some point you have to be able to exchange dialogue. She must write English, huh? They exchanged emails for two years.
I’ve read stuff that claims guys like their child like size, docility, eagerness to please their man, AND apparently their total dependency. And so American man claim it is the selfishness and bossiness of American women that is the problem. They refuse to acknowledge that they may have a problem communicating with another adult of comparable status.
Oh yeah, there is at least a 25 year age difference.
Well I wouldn’t want to be married to him. He is extremely pedantic and monopolizes the conversation with endlessly detailed stories that I quickly lose interest in. For lunch they split a salad? Is he cheap too? Feeding a child? Very attentative to her, but more like he is dealing with a toddler, since she can’t really speak.
Funny thing is there is a second guy in our college group who has a Vietnamese wife, been married over 20 years. Now this guy was a pervert back when we knew him. Good Catholic education and spent his time and money paying co-eds to take naked pics of them – back in the late 60’s.