Realtor Deja Vu

Derek Realtor had the perfect house for me. I had to see it before making any decision. Sellers weren’t quite ready to list, so it was Tuesday evening before we could view the house. Remember, it was sunday I saw a house on which I wanted to make an offer, and the listing agent said there was someone else going to present an offer.
Well I didn’t like that perfect house. And today was going to met Derek at 2:30 to write-up the offer after picking up my proof of funds from the bank.
Last night I asked Derek to verify that house was still available. Have to do that now days with every house.
9:00 am – no message from Derek. Went to Aquaexercise.
10:30 am – no message from Derek. I sent a text (he said something about getting a new phone; didn’t he have one?) “on my way to the bank, is the house available?”
11:00 am – no message from Derek. Drove past the bank went to post office. Called Derek’s house. Got assistant, Derek apparently not available. Still waiting to hear back from listing agent. I’m thinking not a good sign.
Pick up dog, go my niece’s to help assemble IKEA armoire.
1:30 pm – check phone and have text message from the assistant – listing agent finally responded to text message. House is no longer available.
I fucking lost another one! I just can’t believe this. What do I need to do? Why do I even try to be nice. Should have told him how the fuck do you know what is perfect for me, asshole? You’ve know me all of a couple of email messages?
Have these realtors no shame.
I know why he pushed this house. As he said, it would have been nice saving all the marketing expense. And fuckface would also not have to share any commission. Is it greed driving every last real estate agent? Have they all sold their souls?
I’m really depressed. I have 2 1/2 months on my lease in this shithole.
No yard for Fannie.

Comparable Houses?

Saw the other house with Derek tonight. This is the one the owner’s were getting ready to list, and he had them make the house available to me even though they weren’t quite ready. And it was as I feared – didn’t like it. They may have put a lot of money into the house, but they still ended up with cramped baths and a poorly laid out kitchen. Added plenty of high-end up grades, but it doesn’t overcome a poor floor plan. This house has 1,600 square feet! You shouldn’t be banging the bathroom door into the toilet!
So if the other house is still available, I will put in my offer on that short sale house.
Need to get happy pills from my doctor. It will be a stressful 45-60 days. Bank of America is not reputed to process short sales with any expediency. Misery for the home owner and the prospective buyer. Big opportunity for investors.
Asked Derek to verify that homeowner is in default on payments.
I am making concessions because I want my own home, my own paint colors with my old furniture comforting me, a yard for Fannie. And a separate area for the cat litter box.

Another Day, Another House

Derek came through. He is a distressed property expert. Not sure who really certifies that, but he explains the process well and the problems. This is most of his business – short sales. He will not take foreclosure listings from banks. The banks look for the cheapest player on those and generally get newbies or agents with not much business.
So we viewed the house. Floor plan is pretty much like the one I put an offer on, but about 200 sq ft smaller, which is made up for by the finished basement. I can live with less space as long as there are walls to put pictures and furniture.
It is a short sale. Here is the problem: they take time to process. Mortgage held by Bank of America, reputed to process these very slowly like 3-4 months. Derek says we put a time frame on agreement, if we can get sneak it past the listing agent, for a reply in 45 days. Then I take my deposit and am done to look.
Then I’m left with 30 days on the apartment lease and need to find a home. Really don’t want to have to extend the lease any. Would prefer to find a house into which I can move the storage units stuff and start working on. Can also move in the pets and reduce the extra $50 monthly paid for pets.
Derek also has a property he is getting ready to list that he wants me to see. Tells me it is perfect for me. Trying to get the owners to move on readying the house.
Of course the other home has had several viewings, and one realtor has said he will present offer, but nothing happened.
Pressure! Don’t want to lose another – it’s too damned depressing.

Oh Derek Have you Forsaken Me

Knew it was too good to be true. They all want you in the beginning, realtors, eager like dogs in heat. Today I asked for his thoughts on guidelines on how much lower to bid below a list price on a house. I emailed him this morning.
Oh, yeah, I got a fast reply. I’m busy. I’m on the road. I need to get back to the office and give you a reply – this afternoon!
Well what time zone are you in? This afternoon waiting for the solar eclipse? Well ya got the wrong day!!
Look at the time, it is Friday night! Oh, maybe you forgot to specify the afternoon of what day?
Think I’m too demanding?

Brain Addled by Heat

Various thoughts going through my head on this too, too hot day. Nearly 100F. Yes I do have air which is why I’m not leaving the apartment.
I once ate at an upscale Deli-style trendy restaurant in Grand Rapids. Ordered their tuna salad sandwich. This is usually a very safe choice in restaurants one is not familiar with. but what came was certainly a surprise! It was tuna salad made with elbow macaroni served on thick slices of white bread! What nutritionally deficient person thought this up? After expressing shock at pasta on bread, I didn’t have time to wait for something new so just ate the tuna salad. Never went there again.
My new realtor, the Dashing Derek, wants me to wait two weeks when he should have this new listing. The house is just “perfect for you”. I have no other information about it – not city, no square footage, no real idea why it is perfect for me. This is coming for someone whose never met me and has never experienced showing a house with me. Hmmmmmm-mmmmm.
Meanwhile another house I was interested in, but couldn’t see because of some snafu with the bank re short sale, Derek at least got the scoop on. Sold last Dec. as a short sale, sheriff sale happened in May, is now a Fannie Mae home; listing soon as a foreclosure. Meanwhile is continues showing up as an active real estate listing. What a convoluted process.
I got pissed at a guy shooting off fireworks outside my building last night. Naively I went out and asked him to stop. He was firing off rockets from a metal cylinder on the ground. Little embers dropping everywhere. The ensuing dialogue did not go well. Best of all were his excuses: “Like I’m not the only one doing it” and the best “I’m just being patriotic.” You get the dumb prize. And he was shooting fireworks from a cylinder he was holding while standing next to his baby mama holding the child. Could have been his girlfriend, lover, sister, but unlikely his wife. Need to cull the gene pool.
My mother paid for the wedding dress for her oldest granddaughter back in 1996. She also paid for the youngest at her wedding in 2005 or 6. Get this, after grandmother paid for the wedding dress, the brat returned it, lost money or the return and went and purchased a new wedding dress never telling her grandmother anything. What a mingebox! And now the middle granddaughter is getting married. I don’t know if my mother purchased her dress; she has chosen to exclude all of her family from any info about the wedding. We weren’t sure we would be invited to the ceremony. This is the deal where the celebration is two days after the wedding. And we first got the invite to the celebration five weeks ago. The wedding invite arrived 10 days ago.
I’m depressed even more. Not only about not finding a house, but I checking my IRA investments. They are down even lower than two years ago. Nothing I do trying to rebalance helps. What a fucking all around mess. And not even any World Cup Games until tomorrow.

Realtor Rant

They are such easy targets, aren’t they? Just like other professions who earn they money solely based on commissions. They get a reputation, usually not good. Does it change people into looking for the bottom line all the time, or does it attract people who are lured because of that bottom line payoff.
I know when the bank increasingly pushed us for revenue, higher sales goals, I got less discriminating over selling products. There were sales competitions and I had to place, beat the other guy or I might be out. So I sold foreign currency accounts, convinced little companies whenever possible, even though it wasn’t lucrative business for us. I had to get customers, had to score sales.
So I’m going to vent some of my realtor experiences. Let me make clear I worked with two good ones (over 24 years, 5 houses). Maggie is an old-time realtor who knows her territory in detail; sold most the homes and knows everyone. But she is getting old, husband has medical problems, and isn’t readily available. And then there is Earnie, who sold my last house. He is a land development, also old school older guy. And even though he has a Korean wife who didn’t speak English when they married, he knows is real estate stuff.
What have I experienced?
Realtors who don’t understand the paperwork, be it normal contract, foreclosure, or just that you can’t pencil in stuff in the margins.
The big franchise based real estate companies. They gobbled up the small companies that actually knew areas. Now they assign staff to work in whatever office, no matter where the agent lives. And of course all their agents are really well qualified and experienced if you ask.
You’ve got email, cell phone, office voice mail. You think you could answer messages on one of them?
They love you when they take the listing but then try and see them again.
Too many of the women are just flitty and ditzy – they can’t think straight and get everything more confused.
Giving me a pile of listings is not really helping me find a house. I give you an idea of what I’m looking for and you find appropriate properties.
Whether buyer or seller agent, they all seem to most represent themselves. The transfer of property is an archaic system that needs to be overhauled.
I’ve had realtors who couldn’t find the house because they got the address confused and misplaced my telephone number. Meanwhile I’m waiting for them to show up to list the house for sale. They can’t call their office? They don’t have a cell phone to call information for my number? And this is a highly respected local realtor.

The Chase is On

Oh yes, now I see what all the blogs talk about re buying foreclosed properties. It’s their way on the highway. Chase writes sloppy documentation, refers to Pacific Daylight Time on documents handled in Michigan. Coldwell Banker realtor continues to have internet/email problems. Result of all this – we got their counteroffer AFTER the expiry time.
So the jist of reviewing Chase’s ‘counteroffer’ is: you do it our way no questions asked. It is not a counteroffer. The Coldwell Banker listing agent should have told my realtor that they have their own instructions re REO offers. It was a waste of everyone’s time for us to present what we thought was a serious real estate purchase offer.
I spent over 25 years working with documentation. Now that people have spell check why are there so many typos in everything? Back when we had to actually proofread documents NO mistakes were allowed.
And the fine print pretty much says nothing will work to your advantage and good luck getting your deposit back timely if the deal falls through.
Among the glaring discrepancies on the documentation: earnest money deposit must be received within 24 hours and also 48 hours.
I spoke to any attorney (without a fee! – real estate attorneys seem better about doing that) and he summed it up succinctly. Until you get them to agree on price nothing else matters. And for REO properties, it is a commodity. The bank doesn’t give a shit about anything; they haven’t even seen the house. Give them an amount they like and they’re done.
Well I countered for $5,000 more than my initial offer. Because improvements have to be done, like installing an entire kitchen, I don’t want to pay what they’re asking. And I don’t want to use up all my funds from the sale of my house.
Meanwhile, I got another house lined up to view. It was nice but you can’t fall into the trap of wanting it so-o-o-o much you will pay more than you think it reasonable.
And right now mine is the only offer. House has been on the market 6 days, and month end is coming up. I’m hoping the bank wants to put a sale on their books. If they don’t take my offer they likely won’t be able to do it for the month of June.

Home on the Range

I made an offer on a house! Found a great foreclosed property the first day it was listed. Wonderful subdivision, backs to a ravine, great floor plan. I can actually envision living in this house with my worldly possessions and Fannie and the cats (and the bird).
Now just have to wait to hear from the bank. Gonna get nervous and I ponder the possibility of a second offer coming in.
The house doesn’t have some problems that go with foreclosure. The owners were angry. They left the bathroom fixtures but took the kitchen sink, and all the appliances and cabinetry. They also removed knobs off the closets, took some doors and damaged others. Slit the screens in the porch. In taking out the kitchen cabinets they damaged the ceramic floor.
Still, the asking price is less than the purchase price in 2006. Sad they only had less than 4 years in the house; bought it at the peak of the bubble.
But the backyard includes part of the hillside down to the ravine! That’s exciting. Can do some interesting landscaping.
Think it is US Bank holding the mortgage. Gonna see if the cash offer incents them to get this inventory off their books, quick.

New Listings

All the houses are starting to look the same. I’m asking to see houses I’ve already looked at. I can’t tell them apart.
I’m on hiatus from viewing any more homes online.
There is a dearth of new listings.
And I can’t seem to get call backs re two builders I want to check out the one home I saw that might work, but it needs work. Question is how serious is the work that needs to be done.
I’m going to swim some laps.

Glowing House Descriptions

What sort of creative writing courses do these realtors take?
They’re all a real steal, a great home, ready to move in, great landscaping. I’m starting to get a handle on the coded verbage. When you read the description and then see the house, makes you wonder if Helen Keller is the agent. Too glowing of a description and the warning flags go up.
I’m bummed after viewing 3 hopefuls. And I just don’t rush out and view every listing my agent sends me. But this were very disappointing.
The brick bungalow was the typical 3 bedroom home common to that area of Redford. Has a good layout, very interesting retro metal kitchen cabinets (in good shape), good fenced yard, part finished basement (had tiles on the floor) with a fireplace right next to the furnace. But it just wasn’t what I envisioned for my life. On top of it it’s a short sale; listed at $89,900, but they owe $160,000.
Behind door number 2 was a bungalow with one of those remodeling jobs that fucked up the house. You had to entry the master bedroom through an afterthought door in the dining room. Kitchen very small, desperately in need of a remodel. Basement small, finished, but well laid out; easy to update the tired paneling and faux stucco walls. But that snack bar to the ‘family room’ was a big square hole in the kitchen wall that was really unnecessary. Big yard, needs fence. Overpriced.
House number 3 was the foreclosure I checked out yesterday. Inside was worse. Once again, what were they thinking when they put on the family room? Bedrooms very small for a 2,400 sq ft house. Kitchen small. Where was all this footage? As a result of the remodeling, they didn’t bother to seal off a bedroom window that looked into the family room. And there is the dangerous staircase leading from the living room into the basement; only a flimsy unsecured metal railing keeps you from stepping into the dark void below. And then there is a slider on the wall on the other side of the stair; you step over the open stairway to get out. Best feature was the first floor laundry room. Basement recently waterproofed – a little wetness, eh? And a myriad of water stains on the basement ceiling tiles. Still overpriced as a foreclosure.
Seen several homes where the remodeling job left the house with awkward traffic patterns, walls in front of windows. You skim on spending that extra $3k and end up with the house fucked up.