Am I the only one to notice there is a lot of hugging going on? Yesterday I went hiking with a small group of boomers. The last to arrive, Penny, promptly goes around the group hugging everyone, including me. It was the first time I met the woman.
I don’t like a lot of close physical contact from people I know well. My mother would complain that even as a small child I wasn’t one who enjoyed those baby hugs. (In spite of knowing that she forced hugs on me my whole life.) So it should follow how I feel about people I’ve never met.
These are people of my age group – boomers. I look back over an ever increasing number of years trying to find the point where everyone started indiscriminate hugging. Did Oprah push this? Is this an outcome of therapy? Is it meant as comfort for the hugger or hug-gee?
I even had a hairdresser who would end every styling and trim with a hug. I wasn’t departing on a long voyage but would see her again in 6 to 8 weeks. So what’s the deal.
And it is awkward to announce to a group you prefer not to be hugged. Sometimes I can sidle out of the line of view of outreached arms, but not always. And you know, I don’t always want to be contrary and do try on occasion to participate in tribal rituals. Then feel invaded afterwards.
What is just as annoying is when I let someone in a group know my preference and then next time they’re grabbing everyone they will stop and say, ‘oh yeah, I know you don’t want a hug.” This sort of announcement is a critique. If they think themselves so loving, cared, etc. how is it they don’t consider that some might not like it. Do they also kiss everyone they meet? From my perspective when someone indicates they prefer to not have a hug, maybe the person should consider it might be inappropriate for other people who are too reluctant to say so.
I’m trying to remember whether there was hugging in the bank. Largely a male dominated profession, particularly commercial banking, the guys weren’t likely to start in crossing the boundaries of potentially homosexual gestures. But under my one time boss Martha, there was hugging. She hired almost solely females and there was a hugging proclivity. So I’m sure it comes up more in female gatherings, but didn’t used to.
So I’m back to my original query – why so much and when did it change?
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