Road Trip

Freshly returned from a trip to Connecticut. Oh it is lovely to be in a state not full of the great unwashed! Initial impressions of Michigan after crossing the Blue Water Bridge: poorly maintained highways, lots of road kill all shapes and sizes, chunks of tire treads littering the landscape. One great thing about toll roads – they are immaculate! People and cars must hit deer in New York, but I never see the mutilated remains and blood spatters. And even the free highways of Connecticut are maintained. It is nice to be in the state with the highest per capita income in the country.
And I had a chance to meet a New York State Trooper up close and personal. Caught me in a speed trap near a construction site. Damn those audio books! I was listening to Nevada Barr’s

Winter Study

right at the suspenseful end! I missed the 55 mph signs for the work zone, the part that comes BEFORE the orange barrels are put out. Of course the troopers were lined up ready to catch the offenders. Yeah, I got the old ‘I’m giving you a break and not making it a work zone’ line. Fines are doubled in work zones. You could have given me more of a break and given me a warning! Can hardly wait to see how much this will cost me.
don’t pay it and never set foot in New York again? What about two tickets in a work zone and license is suspended? They can’t do that if you are licensed from another state, can they? And does my insurance company find out about tickets issued in other states? Need to get on Google.

Forget the Grammar, Just Speak Coherently

“Those who are impotent and limp and gutless and they go on their anonymous — sources that are anonymous — and impotent, limp and gutless reporters take anonymous sources and cite them as being factual references,” Palin said on Sean Hannity’s radio program. “It just slays me because it’s so absolutely clear what the state of yellow journalism is today that they would take these anonymous sources as fact.”
I don’t think I’m a grammar snob, but just ask that media personalities, in their role on camera, at least speak coherently.
Impotent and limp and gutless? Maybe because he doesn’t shoot animals hunting from helicopters? Or he doesn’t tear up the landscape and pollute the air racing around on snowmobiles.
Are not these sexual allusions in her rants new for her? Is she having problems in her marriage with Todd? To turn her criticism into sexual attacks could back fire on her. Her tea party male supporters, many of whom seem to visualize themselves as macho types defending America, could fear threatened by her. Risk of castration.
But really, I long for well spoken people on TV. They don’t need a British accent, just be able to formulate their thoughts in clear language. It is an epidemic on all news with rare exception. I’m tired of the news person imposing themselves on the story and becoming the story.

To Mrs. Anti-Virus

What a coward to send me a comment on my post and then got delete your link and email address! Hit and run! Hell no I don’t wish Bush were President. Did hell freeze over?
This is the big fault of the internet – like screaming at people when driving past. Are you an exemplary representative of Bush supporters? Loud mouths who spout stupid one liners as evidence of their patriotism. They don’t know what patriotism is; they wave their little flag while living in a mythos that believe John Wayne movies to be factual. (Hey, wake up, he was a draft dodger, like George Bush!)

Trying to Make the Boss Look Good

For several years a big part of my job in international business development was setting up calls for the big guns from headquarters. You know the drill, I contact the customers, arrange a call because the departments heads will be visiting from the big city. Of course they’d rather see the big wigs than me. Shows how important this client relationship is to us. It is a means to get more business; we have a foot in the door but want more – the leg and part of their torso.
Back in the 80′s and 90′s this was easier to do. The companies weren’t as large. They still had decision making capabilities over their banking services. And we still had regional banks that knew their markets and clients personally. Also the companies out in West Michigan rarely got called on by any banks and never big money center banks.
There were two department heads that I worked with most often. I used to be an employee of the first. Rob got there thru the usual male, corporate route; all males were promoted over females in those days as a matter of course. Yes, guys, that’s really the way it was.
The other, Bob, got to his position more because his boss enjoyed his company than for his technical knowledge or sales skills. Yes, he had a guardian, which also was par for the course then.
The two always travelled together. And when I still worked in main office, we’d wonder if they shared a room. I gave them the nickname Heckle and Jeckle. Business trips were arranged around golf outings. And they always went to see the same two or three clients. It was never any real development of new business.
In my new role outstate I took business development seriously, fool that I was. So I would work to set up new appointments for them, get them in places they rarely visited. I was very pleased to get the appointment with Gerber, the baby food people, headquartered still in west Michigan. Our bank handled a lot of their export activity.
As always I’d let the guys know the call schedule. I’d let them know what work we did for a company. The guys had better records and resources at main office to get activity figures and general info. None of this was done by me last minute. I did pre-work on calls and worked to coordinate everyone’s part.
So the day of the call they pick me up at my west Michigan office for the 40 minute ride to Gerber. Big name customer, but we are not their sole bank. Heckle and Jeckle sit in front, I’m in back with all my files and data. Rob knows the way as we wind north on the two lane road. It’s about a 40 minute drive.
Chit chat, joking, office stuff. Time passes easy. All of a sudden Bob turns to me and says “Do we do any work with Gerber?”
I think ‘What the fuck does he do with his time?’
I say “Didn’t you pull any activity info on them?”
He liked to wing his calls, show up totally unprepared and just have a nice talk. I’m wondering why he has his job and I have to push so hard to get where I am. Why is this goof ball a Vice President, Manager, and I am not even an Assistant Vice President?
Women, you know what I’m talking about!
Okay the call went okay, the clients is easy-going, but we didn’t push for more business. It was a plain old met and greet.
Bob, manager of an international business unit, was the same guy who when asked by a customer about doing business in Bangladesh, replied “those African countries can be really hard to work with.”

Put Your Bumper Sticker Here

Found myself driving behind a big ass Ford Pick Up truck with bumper stickers pasted all over the tailgate. It looked a very new vehicle – basic black. The bumper stickers gave me pause to consider when free speech becomes public indecency.
The stickers were in the vein of Puck Felosi, Put your Carbon (foot pic) up my (dem donkey pic). There were lots of them. All rather scatological in tone. Made me wonder about the owner’s personal hang ups.
So at what point is it not about free speech but about public obscenity? Why should I be subjected to what is the equivalent of shouting four letter words on a public street? They have arrested people in some Michigan countries for that. Seems it shouldn’t be any different than putting offensive shit on your vehicle. Ah, there is the rub – who determines what is offensive? To paraphrase a Supreme Court Justice – I’ll know when I hear it.
Then the truck also had NRA gun rights stuff, always very violent in nature. For me, it justifies why we need gun control – the NRA people are violent sons-a-bitches.
The driver was male. I made a point of slowing down when I was in the next lane to get a good look at him. Who are these people? Why would he stick all that stuff on his nice phallic substitute big ole truck? Bumper stickers don’t come off easily.
It is puzzling to me why anyone needs to advertise their beliefs to the entire world. It’s somewhat like proselytizing. Or you are just an ornery son of a bitch who wants to tick people off.
Never forget the car I saw with stickers pro-life and pro gun rights. Wants to save the unborn but shoot the living. There is an inherent contradiction in this person view of the value of life.

News Flash!

Crew leader, St. Joan, announces she is leaving her post. Woe is me! Her assistant is taking over. Never met this one. Can’t annoint her with a name until I get a handle on her.
At the library this afternoon, where they hold their meetings to turn in work, there was a discussion about quotas. St. Joan was saying that they (census bosses) can’t come up with a productivity number. And, the goal was for completion of NRFU (non response follow-up – ha! not what you thought it meant) by Memorial Day. Now they realize they won’t make that goal. So I can work into June. And there is likely to be a crack down on low output.
What’s going on in other regional offices?
Talk to me!!???!!! I need sources and to get in on the cutting edge of census scuttlebutt.

It’s 8:30 Do you Know Where your Enumerator Is?

I got this dumb young black chick assigned to me. We have to meet in cars because the coffee shop doesn’t open till 9am. This morning she got in my car with her long polished nails as her boyfriend (I assume) waited in her car, to turn over her meager completed work, absolutely reeking of perfume. Even though it was pouring rain I opened the windows and turned up the blower. I asked her lighten up on the perfume next time as I am allergic. Stupid me – I should have said I can’t participate in this meeting because I have a medical condition, and then made my crew leader work with her. Dumb little bitch took my pen, too.
I did point out to Big Mama that there are issues working with Mercedes. She doesn’t respond to phone messages, isn’t available for work, and I have a scent allergy. Big Mama has to discuss this with her boss. Big Mama asked me “well, if you can meet her inside will it be a problem with her perfume (picture her waving her fat arms like propellers) in here?” She needs to not wear any.
I don’t have a bona fide allergy. I just gag a bit and have a little problem breathing. But I have to make accommodations for so many other people with their special needs, so damn it, I’m taking gonna get me some of my own!
Otherwise, work performance is up. Turning in more completed interviews, keep my mouth shut and don’t try being helpful, and see how long I can get paid $16.00/hour. It is not in our interest to work quickly – once the job is done, so are we.
Very interesting is the picture of America I get. Very diverse, very complicated, serious housing problems.

Census Sagas

My crew leader, Big Mama, doesn’t want me taking any initiative and feels I am being difficult with her because I’m unclear on her text messages. I’ll ignore that I’m more experienced and smarter than you. Her one point was that I told people to use their binder number to document where they drove to, instead of cross roads as she told us to do. The binder number is also in the illustration in the manual. And is what HER boss said to do; I specifically asked this question when another enumerator who was present when I met with big boss (I was doing Big Mama’s job Sunday) asked about this point. Got an answer and clarified it for others. Big Mama can say what she wants about how she trained us but her team is all over the place on this point. And she is letting it go through so don’t give me this shit about ‘you policy’.
Fortunately the other assistant was sitting with us and chimed in about what Big Mama says in her messages. Us white folk were ganging up on her. Please don’t cry racism.
Big Mama says if we are confused by her messages we should ask her to clarify them. We tried to tell her the message is clear; we are doing what she tells us to. She is simply confused about what she is thinking and what she actually tells us.
Fine. And when I thought I could now clarify my issues, I had trouble getting her to stop interrupting and talking a blue streak! Then she gets real defensive – I already picked up on that – see a previous post.
I’m not working her duties this weekend – she will be using the other assistant. She is forwarned. And I think I will make myself real busy this weekend and unable to meet with my team. Let someone else experience the Kafkaesque situation.
I’m tempted to say they need to get them darkies back out in the field but that is VERY inappropriate. So I won’t say it.

Real Bagel – Not Synthetic

I finally found it! A bagel shop in western Metro Detroit with real bagels! Detroit Bagel on Middlebelt at Seven Mile has the genuine chewy, hard yet rubbery crust. Reminds me of the 1970′s when I went to a bagel place on Seven Mile at Evergreen. It was a converted storefront establishment. The commercial districts around Detroit were already in decline.
I remember a conveyor belt along which the bagels travelled from some mysterious backroom place. Saturday mornings I’d drive over to get bagels for the family. We could still afford to buy lox back then, and it was just lox, not smoked salmon, or wild caught salmon, or marinated salmon. Just lox. (Lox isn’t even an acceptable word in the Worpress dictionary!) A couple of months ago I was talking to young adults in Kalamazoo who didn’t know what lox was. And they weren’t even Christian Reformed people who grew up in an insulated environment.
Those cake like things that sell for bagels at the franchise chain places have ruined bagels. They put the good Jewish shops out of business. Is it better to have poorer quality bagels with widespread availability, or made an effort to keep good quality places in business?
And what’s with all the stupid flavored cream cheeses? It’s not cream cheese any more. Do people even know that cream cheese is not sweet?
This whole industrialization of food makes all foods tastes more alike in many respects and loses their unique qualities. We almost can’t handle fresh food any more; the taste is too strong. It’s like with good artisan cheese – I don’t eat as much because the flavor is more pungent. If you eat those softer mass-produced products you have to eat more to have taste satisfaction.

Blacks too Defensive

I’m had this situation before – be it with co-workers, retail clerks, professional staff – very defensive blacks. More rarely have this with white, Asian, native American, Hispanic (not a race on the census), or etc. (does it show that I work for the census).
Whenever you clarify a point, or ask a questions about what they have said, they get really defensive. They keep repeating what they said, tell you that you didn’t understand it right and act as if you’ve insulted them or criticized them.
If you would express yourselves clearly to begin with we wouldn’t have to engage in this I said, I meant, you shouldn’t you can’t back and forth.
Happens all the time with my current Crew Leader. Let’s call her Kanesha. She has most of us confused 2/3 of the time. Some of this is the constant changing environment in which we work. But most of it is her! Her boss tells me it is okay to do something a certain way, and Kanesha goes on and on about “well I just think it has to be blah-blah”, or “but I need to have section b completed so that I can turn it in without xyz info and how am I going to handle that.”
I don’t fucking care. I’m a peon. I tried to facilitate things and cut done mileage work hours for my team and you don’t like it. So great – we will get the mileage and extra hours and your head is in the noose. Or is it on the line?
The old problem – I’m smarter than her. But I’ll just do my work, get the hours and the mileage. Today I took the mapquest route home. She goes on and on about our mileage because mapquest says it’s only xxx miles. Mapquest isn’t in the real world. The mapquest route takes longer. So Jemima, you want me to have more miles or more hours?